DID YOU KNOW?

November 11, 2009 Pay More Attention to Teenage Boys Boys need as much help as girls in learning about youthful relationships and teen pregnancy.  Many teen boys are struggling to figure out what it means to be a man.  Many are caught up in a "player" culture and have no idea of what it takes to become a good boyfriend, husband or father. Source: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, "Making a Love Connection, Teen Relationships, Pregnancy, and Marriage," by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and Marline Pearson

November 4, 2009 The Strength of a Father's Love Research has shown that a father's love is just as important as - or sometimes even more important than - a mother's love.  Unfortunately, some men believe they are not supposed to show their emotions, which can affect their relationships with their children and others.  Some fathers have trouble developing and maintaining loving relationships with their children in part because they never had an affectionate relationship with their own fathers.  When they were growing up, their fathers might not even have been around very much.  But fatherless fathers, or dads whose fathers showed them very little love, are not doomed to repeat their childhood experiences. Source: The National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse

October 28, 2009 Making a Love Connection Teens are street-savvy about the attractions of sex and school-smart about its perils but increasingly uninformed about the steps to building healthy relations, now and in the future. Though parents may talk to their teens about ways to avoid the risks of sexual involvement, they are often uncertain or perplexed about what to say to their teens about romantic relationships and especially marriage.  As a result, teens may get the sense that grownups have few convictions or values about the larger context, purpose and meaning of sex. Source: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, "Making a Love Connection, Teen Relationships, Pregnancy, and Marriage," by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and Marline Pearson

October 21, 2009 Paternity Establishment, Increased Father Involvement & Economic Support Research shows a positive connection between prenatal father involvement and subsequent father-child engagement. Fathers who accompanied the mothers on a prenatal visit were more likely to engage in father-child activities later.  Their presence at the birth of their children was also positively associated with later father-child activities.  Additionally, fathers who established paternity at the hospital showed higher levels of financial and emotional support for their children. Source: The "First Nine Months of Fatherhood:  Paternal Contributions to Maternal and Child Health Outcomes," 05/08, A Report of the Findings from the First National Conference of Emerging Research and Practice on Prenatal Father Involvement

October 14, 2009 In 1992, it was reported... "...Fathers spend an average of 37 seconds a day with their infant sons, and one hour a day with their adolescents.  These figures are for intact families.  After divorce, 50 percent of adolescent children have no contact, 30 percent have sporadic contact and 20 percent see their father once a week or more.  Average it all out and fathers spend approximately 10 minutes a day with their children." Source:  http://www.marriagequest.org/emotional.html, A Child Needs the Emotional Presence of a Father, By Israel Helfand, M.S., Ph.D. From The News-Times, March 11, 1992

October 7, 2009 11 Reasons to Play with Your Spouse What do you do when your spouse wants to play with you?  Do you join him or her?  Or do you turn your spouse away?  In our busy and often stressful society, it's important to take time to play as husband and wife.  Playfulness is not a sign that we haven't grown up.  Rather it's a sign of a healthy marriage.  Think about couples you've seen playing.  Do they look immature?  Or do they look happy? Playfulness has many benefits for both parties in a marriage.    * It helps us to take life less seriously.    * It helps us to enjoy little things.    * It gets us laughing, which helps to reduce our stress hormones.    * It helps us build lasting memories.    * It helps us appreciate one another.    * It helps ease tense moments.    * It puts us in a good mood.    * It improves brain functioning.    * It creates connections between husband and wife.    * It helps us to relax.    * It makes us feel refreshed and young. Playful couples are happy couples.  So the next time your spouse wants to play with you, join him or her.  You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. Source:  http://www.examiner.com/x-3057-Phoenix-Marriage-Examiner

September 30, 2009 Are you thinking about getting married? Marriage Does Not Solve Problems Many young couples seem to think that once they settle down and get married that all of their problems will disappear.  Some people are unhappy or lonely being single and they jump into married life for the wrong reasons.  But marriage alone will not make you happy, and it will not solve emotional, personal or sexual problems you may be going through.  I highly encourage all couples, at whatever age, to heal themselves of any personal issues first before jumping into marriage.  You will definitely be a more loving marriage partner because of it. Marriage Is Not A Good Reason For Leaving Home Some young women have this "hurry up, leave home and get married attitude" and I think it is because they have been highly conditioned into believing that a man of their dreams is going to whisk them off into a Cinderella/Prince Charming situation and they will live happily forever.  We can blame fairytales and TV for that.  This notion is also NOT true.  Some young ladies are in a hurry to get away from mom and dad so they can do what they want, but if you rush into marriage, you will regret it, just like many young couples have.  Getting married is not a good reason to leave home.  When you are young you are way better off being at home and under the protection of your parents. Marriage Takes Total Teamwork Everything in marriage takes team effort.  Husband and wife each do their own part that keeps the marriage running smoothly, healthy and strong.  In a healthy marriage, both husband and wife serve (love) one another.  The wife doesn't have the brunt of the responsibilities and neither does the husband.  In a Godly marriage the wife has her roles and responsibilities that she attends to and the husband has his.  When couples adhere to their God-given roles not only do they complement each other but also fulfill the needs of each other in the ways set out for them by God. Marriage Takes Absolute Commitment You cannot get married thinking if it doesn't work out you can get a divorce.  With an attitude like that you will get a divorce.  Marriage takes total commitment from both husband and wife because marriage is designed for a lifetime.  Submission is mutual commitment.  This is how husband and wife submit to each other's needs.  Marriage is a service.  If you aren't up to sharing yourself for the rest of your life with someone, don't get married.  Commitment is love.  If you are not ready to forgive and show compassion then you are not ready for marriage.  Commitment is to know in your heart that once you are married there is no looking back.  Don't look back or the marriage may just turn into a pillar of salt. Source:  http://www.dailymirror.lk/DM_BLOG/Sections/frmNewsDetailView.aspx?ARTID=44192

September 23, 2009 Five Steps to Being a Stronger Father in Your Child's Education    1. Meet your child's teacher or teachers and introduce yourself.    2. Call the teachers yourself if you have any questions or concerns.    3. Attend teacher conferences and set appointments to discuss your child's progress.    4. Help your child with homework and projects on a regular basis.    5. Let teachers know you want to be involved and provide your contact information. Source: Strong Fathers-Strong Families, http://www.strongfathers.com/

September 16, 2009 Coping Strategies if You've Married a Jerk    * Recognize you can't change your spouse.  You can only change your reactions and responses.    * Reinforce positive behavior.  When you spouse does something right, say so!    * Maintain eye contact when stating your own opinions and feelings.  Be prepared so you know what you want to say before you say it.    * Be straight forward and clear in your communications with your spouse.    * Make time to be alone together such as taking walks.    * Don't place blame.  It only creates defensiveness.  Use "I" statements.    * Try and focus on the positive.  Looking only at the negative behaviors in your spouse can be self-fulfilling.    * Be honest about yourself.  If you make a mistake, admit it.    * Listen with both your heart and your mind. Source: http://marriage.about.com/od/difficultissues/a/marriedjerk.htm

September 9, 2009 Maternal Depression Can Lead to Behavioral Problems in Children; Father Involvement Can Help Studies have shown that children of depressed mothers have more disruptive and depressive symptoms than those of non-depressed mothers.  The protective effect of a father's positive involvement suggests that health care professionals should encourage the father's increased positive involvement with his children.  If the father compensates for the limitations on the depressed mother's parenting, the child's risk of problematic behaviors may be reduced in the future. Source: Maternal Depressive Symptoms, Father's Involvement, and the Trajectories of Child Problem Behaviors in a U.S. National Sample, Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, Vol. 161, No. 7, July 2007, pp. 697-703. http://www.concernedparents.com/Abstracts/Understanding%20Your%20Teen/maternal%20depression%20can%20lead%20to%20behavior%20problems%20in%20children.htm

September 2, 2009 Fathers can be involved with their children in more roles than the provider role. Researchers have identified three main ways that fathers are involved with their children:    1. Fathers can have direct contact with their children (engagement);    2. They can make themselves available to children even when not in physical contact (accessibility); and    3. They can take responsibility for their children's care and welfare, again regardless of physical proximity (responsibility). Researchers contend that it is important to distinguish between the quantity and quality of father involvement.  If a father is not able to have frequent physical contact with his child yet provides warm, stimulating, and positive contact when possible, children can still benefit from father involvement. Conversely, if a father has frequent opportunities to interact with his child but does not engage the child in positive ways, the child may not fare as well. Source: Child Trends Research Brief, The Meaning of Father Involvement for Children

August 26, 2009 Everyone loses confidence in themselves now and again and recognizing this is the first step in regaining your self-confidence.  For some who don't recognize this, their lack of self-confidence can slip into depression.  Whether it's at work or at home everyone can benefit from feeling good about themselves and their abilities. Some signs that someone may have low self-esteem:   * They avoid challenges and opportunities.   * They avoid responsibilities.   * They are overly dependent on others.   * They rely on others to make decisions for them.   * They put themselves down.   * They isolate themselves.   * They are highly emotional, possibly depressed. Source: relate, the relationship people http://www.relate.org.uk/mediacentre/factsheets/self-esteem/

August 19, 2009 Where are the fathers? In 2007 - 35% of all births in Polk County, Iowa were out of wedlock (2,431 children) and the number is increasing each year.  In 2000, the statistic was 28% of all Polk County births were out of wedlock. For a copy of the Polk County Fathers and Families Coalition's flyer "Fatherlessness - A Growing Crisis" email Harold Coleman at hcolema@dhs.state.ia.us Source: Iowa Department of Public Health Vital Statistics of Iowa 2007

August 12, 2009 BACK TO SCHOOL - Our schools and colleges will welcome back record numbers of students this fall as the population increases. Elementary and Secondary Education - In fall 2008, a record 49.8 million students attended public elementary and secondary schools.  Of these, 34.9 million will be in pre-kindergarten through 8th grade and 14.9 million in grades 9 through 12.  An additional 6.2 million students were expected to attend private schools. - Public school systems will employ about 3.3 million teachers this fall, resulting in a pupil/teacher ratio of 15.3, which is lower than in 2000, when the ratio was 16.0.  An additional 0.5 million teachers will be working in private schools this fall, where the pupil/teacher ratio is estimated at 13.0. - There are about 14,200 public school districts containing about 97,000 public schools, including about 4,000 charter schools.  There were about 35,000 private schools offering kindergarten or higher grades. - Expenditures for public elementary and secondary schools will be about $519 billion for the 2008-09 school year.  The national average current expenditure per student is around $10,418, up from $9,154 in 2005-06. Colleges and University Education - About 18.3 million students will attend 2-year and 4-year colleges and universities, an increase of about 3.0 million since fall 2000.  College enrollment is expected to continue increasing, reaching a projected 20.4 million in fall 2016. - Females were expected to comprise the majority of college students in fall 2008, numbering about 10.6 million compared to 7.7 million males.  Although the majority of students attend full-time (an estimated 11.5 million for fall 2008), 6.8 million will attend part-time.  About 7.2 million students are expected to attend public 4-year colleges, 6.5 million public 2-year colleges, 4.3 million private 4-year colleges, and 0.3 million private 2-year colleges. - Increasing numbers and percentages of minority students are attending college.  Between 2000 and 2005, the percentage of Black college students rose from 11.3 to 12.7 percent, and the percent of Hispanic students rose from 9.5 to 10.8 percent. - The record college enrollments have been driven by both increases in the traditional college age population and rising enrollment rates.  Between 2000 and 2006, the 18- to 24-year-old population rose from 27.3 million to 29.5 million and the percentage of 18- to 24-year-olds enrolled in college also was higher in 2006 (37.3) compared to 2000 (35.5 percent). - For 2006-07, annual prices for undergraduate tuition, room, and board were estimated to be $11,034 at public institutions and $28,384 at private institutions. - During the 2008-09 school year, 714,000 associate's degrees; 1,585,000 bachelor's degrees; 647,000 master's degrees; 91,000 first-professional degrees; and 55,800 doctor's degrees were expected to be awarded. Source: U.S. Department of Education Institute of Education Sciences, National Center for Education Statistics, http://nces.ed.gov/FastFacts/display.asp?id=372

August 5, 2009 How do I know if I'm a good communicator? * You could ask a friend to tell you how they find conversations with you. * Are you a good listener?  Do you wait until the other person has finished what they've got to say before you chime in?  Do you acknowledge what they have said? * Do you find it important to make time to have a conversation? * Do you make sure you understand fully what has been said?  Do you check out what you think you've heard with the person speaking? * Does your own view of the subject color what has been said to you? * Do you relay your story in an interessted and informative way, sharing your feelings about the topic, or do you just give the bare facts? * Can you stay with what the other person is saying to you without interrupting, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable? These questions may help you to get an idea of how you communicate. Source: relate, the relationship people http://www.relate.org.uk/mediacentre/factsheets/communication/

July 29, 2009 Quotes About Parenting - Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.  (Anonymous) - In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything.  You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.  (Bill Cosby, Actor) - In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time.  (Anonymous) - You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.  (Polish proverb) Source: Relate for Parents http://www.relateforparents.org.uk/quotesandjokes.shtml

July 22, 2009 Rural Children Now Less Likely to Live in Married-Couple Families In 1990, rural children were more likely to be living in married-couple families than children living in urban areas.  Today, however, that has changed.  The most recent Census Bureau data for 2008 indicate that the share of rural children living in married-couple families is 1 percentage point below that of children in metropolitan areas (68 percent versus 69 percent). Family structure is closely linked to a variety of child outcomes and numerous studies have shown that, in general, children growing up in a stable, married-couple family have more advantages and opportunities than those growing up in a single-parent family. Source: Carsey Institute, University of New Hampshire,  http://www.carseyinstitute.unh.edu/publications/FS-Rural-married-couple-families-08.pdf

July 15, 2009 Tips for Dads to Promote Daughters' Sports Here are tips to help dads provide the kind of support daughters need. - Make sports fun from an early age.  Keep a relaxed approach when she's young.  For example, have athletic-theme parties, like kickball and pizza. - Demonstrate interest in her athletic programs and activities.  Attend her games and other extracurricular activities.  If you live away from your daughter, be sure to talk with her after every game to hear how it went. - Leave coaching to the coaches.  Tina Syer of the Positive Coaching Alliance says, "You're there to fill the kids' emotional tanks and make sure they bounce back from mistakes, not to tweak their throwing motion or tell them where to be on the field."  Be smart about choosing coaches tuned in to her age and skill level.  If there's a lack of adequate coaches, sign up to volunteer! - Be a model fan.  Cheer hard for your girl, and then cheer for everyone else who is playing, too.  Think about what you would look like on the sidelines if someone were videotaping you instead of the game.  Be sure you (and your daughter) would be proud of what you'd see.  Every kid (and parent) should remember why they call it "playing" sports. - Ask, "What do you and I hope to get from the experience?"  Then tell her what you hope she gets.  If you don't talk (and listen), she may assume all you care about is a winning record or how good her stats are.  Make sure she knows you want sports to be a fun place to make friends, test herself, be healthy, and feel good about herself. - Let her play with boys.  In Raising Our Athletic Daughters: How Sports Can Build Self-Esteem and Save Girls' Lives, Jean Zimmerman and Gil Reavill suggest utilizing coed or single-sex programs according to your daughter's comfort level and what will contribute most to her learning and growth. - Help her use "mistakes" productively.  When she messes up, she'll look to you first.  So illustrate how to put mistakes in perspective by 1) showing her how to let go of them, and 2) encouraging (but not demanding) her to use them as motivation to improve her skills. - Make sure girls and boys have equal sports opportunities and resources.  Support Title IX and encourage school and other sports programs to be aware of and promptly address inequities.  Celebrate and help promote National Girls and Women in Sports Day in early February. - Keep a relaxed and fun approach.  Team sports teach girls how to be self-reliant while also working collaboratively to be competitive. Source: National Center for Fathering http://www.fathers.com/content

July 8, 2009 10 Ways to Be a Better Dad 1. Respect Your Children's Mother - One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother.  If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital.  If you're not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. 2. Spend Time with Your Children - How a father spends his time tells his children what's important to him.  If you always seem to busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say.  Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. 3. Earn the Right to Be Heard - All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong.  That's why so many children cringe when their mother says,  "Your father wants to talk with you."  Begin talking with your kids when they are very young.  Take time and listen to their ideas and problems. 4. Discipline with Love - All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits.  Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior.  Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children. 5. Be a Role Model - Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not.  A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband.  Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility.  "All the world's a stage..." and a father plays one of the most vital roles. 6. Be a Teacher - Too many fathers think teaching is something others do.  But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. 7. Eat Together as a Family - Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life.  In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do.  It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. 8. Read to Your Children - In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children.  Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing.  Begin reading to your children when they are very young.  When they are older encourage them to read on their own. 9. Show Affection - Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family.  Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children.  Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them. 10. Realize that a Father's Job Is Never Done - Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice.  Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families. Source: National Fatherhood Initiative http://www.fatherhood.org/

July 1, 2009 July 4th - Independence Day On July 4th, America's independence will be celebrated in grand fashion with parades, fireworks and backyard BBQs.  Did you know that in 2008, Americans commemorated the 232nd anniversary of the approval of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress - the act that set the 13 American colonies on their road to national sovereignty?  Here are some more facts and figures about America and our Independence Day celebration: Did you know...that in 1776, there were 2.5 million people living in the newly independent America? Did you know...that in 2008, there are over 304 million people living in America? Did you know...that Americans import $207 million worth of fireworks from China for their pyrotechnic shows?  We export, on the other hand, just $14.9 million in fireworks. Did you know...that Americans spent more than $4.7 million on American flags in 2007?  And did you know that the vast majority of those flags - $4.3 million worth - were made in China? Did you know...that 31 cities in America are named after liberty, such as the most populous city on the list, Liberty, Missouri (population 29,581)? Did you know...that there are also 31 cities in America with the word "eagle" - a national symbol of the United States - in their name, including Eagle Pass, Texas (population 26,401)? Did you know...that twelve places are named for Independence, including Independence, Missouri (population 109,400)? Did you know...there are nine places named "freedom," including the most populous city on the list: Freedom, California (population 6,000 residents)? Did you know...there is one city named Patriot in America?  It's in Indiana (population 192). Source: U.S. Census Bureau

June 24, 2008 There's Nothing to Do! Summer vacations and rainy days don't have to be long stretches of aimless "hanging out."  With a little creativity and encouragement from you, your children can use their time discovering hidden talents, making new friends, and exploring the world around them. Tips for... parents with children ages birth to 5 * Give your baby a change of scene now and then by moving his or her playpen to a different room, or take a walk outside. * Visit interesting buildings together. Tour a barn, skyscraper, fire station, or bakery. parents with children ages 6 to 9 * Sign your child up for one or two outside-the-home activities - led by caring, nurturing adults - such as swimming lessons, scouting, art projects, a sports team, music lessons, or something else that interests them. * Keep a variety of art materials on hand in a "Bored Box."  Fill it with art supplies like paper, crayons, glue, leaves, egg cartons, etc. parents with children ages 10 to 15 * Brainstorm with your kids a list of the things they enjoy doing at home and in the community.  Guide them toward some things that are free, some that are educational, and some that help others.  Then when they say they're bored, encourage them to pick something to do from the list. * Don't assume it's your responsibility to keep them from being bored.  Challenge your kids to figure out interesting things to do on their own.  Sometimes a little boredom can be great motivation. parents with children ages 16 to 18 * Encourage teenagers to think about how their skills and interests might apply to a summer job.  Could your young artist paint a mural for a local business?  If you work outside of the home, are there any tasks at your workplace that a teen could do? * Invite them to help you think of activities for younger siblings, or suggest they join a local organization for the summer as a counselor or mentor for children. Source: Everyday Parenting Ideas - MVParents:  http://mvparents.com/  Copyright 2005 Search Institute. 615 First Avenue Northeast, Suite 125 Minneapolis, MN 55413 USA.

June 17, 2009 Being the Best Dad Being the best dad that you can be does not necessarily mean that you have to make a lot of money or that you have to be a perfect father. What it does mean is that you should give the best effort that you possibly can to make sure that you are there for your children so that they know they can rely on you no matter what the situation may be. Too many dads get caught up in the idea that making money is their number one priority in life. Many dads will believe that this represents fatherhood and that they are somehow less of a parent if they are not making a lot of money. But, making money is only one way that you can contribute to your child's life. Sometimes just being a person that they can turn to is more than enough. Or it might mean attending their sports games or their dance recitals and cheering them on no matter how well they do in competition. No matter what you might have been conditioned to feel, being a parent to your child does not depend on your ability to make money only. It depends on your ability to make your children the number one priority in your life. And when you can honestly say that this is the truth, then you are being the best parent that you can be. Being a dad means spending good quality time with your children first and foremost. This is what they will remember of you as they grow up, not the size of your bank account. Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bryan_Appleton

June 10, 2009 Nonresident Father Involvement Reduces Risk of Smoking in Their Adolescents Adolescents from divorced and/or separated households are more likely to smoke than their peers from intact families. The results of a study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior suggest that involvement with nonresident fathers decreases the likelihood that adolescents will begin smoking on a regular basis. Source: Nonresident Fathers' Involvement and Adolescents' Smoking, Journal of Health and Social Behavior, Vol. 47, March 2006, pp. 32-46.  http://www.concernedparents.com/Abstracts/Understanding%20Your%20Teen/nonresident%20fathers%20involvement%20and%20smoking.htm

June 3, 2009 Celebration Breakfast - 100th Father's Day Thursday, June 18th, 2009 7:00 - 8:30 AM Lutheran Church of Hope - 925 Jordan Creek Parkway WDM $10 Adults, $5 Youth (18 & under), Pay at the Door RSVP to Morgan Streeter at 558-0762 or morgan.streeter@dmymca.org History of Father's Day First celebration - June 10, 1910, in Spokane, Washington endorsed by the YMCA and the Spokane Minister's Alliance.  Inspiration for the idea - Sonora Dodd who realized the selflessness her father (William Smart) had in raising six children as a single parent.  Sonora was only 16 when her mother died while in childbirth.

May 27, 2009 Five Steps to Being a Stronger Father in Your Child's Education 1. Meet your child's teacher or teachers and introduce yourself. 2. Call the teachers yourself if you have any questions or concerns. 3. Attend teacher conferences and set appointments to discuss your child's progress. 4. Help your child with homework and projects on a regular basis. 5. Let teachers know you want to be involved and provide your contact information. Source: Strong Fathers-Strong Families, http://www.strongfathers.com/

May 20, 2009 Memorial Day When: The last Monday in May. Traditionally was the 30th of May. Memorial Day is officially celebrated on the last Monday during the month of May. Memorial Day is dedicated to service men and women who gave their lives for freedom and country. It is also a time to remember loved ones who have passed away. The roots of Memorial Day go back to 1865 and the end of the Civil War. Memorial Day was traditionally held on the 30th of May. In 1971, Congress changed it to the last Monday in order to afford a three day holiday weekend. Regardless of the date, we encourage you to attend a parade, and to visit a cemetery to honor and remember our servicemen. Take time to remember lost loved ones in whatever way you feel appropriate. Did You Know?  Memorial Day was first called Decoration Day. It was changed to Memorial Day in 1882. Memorial Day also marks the beginning of the gardening and summer seasons, even though summer will not occur for a few weeks later. It is usually marked by holding the first family picnic of the year. Source: http://www.holidayinsights.com/other/memorial.htm

May 13, 2009 ACTION POINTS for Committed Dads * Go out of your way to intentionally affirm your child in his pursuit of something he enjoys. * Tell your children about a time in your youth when you received advice from a father or father figure that changed the course of your life. * Be a regular "taxi driver" for your children and their friends. It's a great way to be available and learn about what's going on in their lives. * No matter what your child's age, involve him or her in daily tasks around the house that you can do together - cooking, cleaning, maintenance tasks, etc. * Make it a habit to say those 3 words that can be life-changing for you and your child: "I love you." * Read a chapter from Proverbs with your kids (or pick out one verse, if you have younger kids) and talk about how all of you can apply the truth. Source:  NATIONAL CENTER for FATHERING P.O. Box 413888, Kansas City, MO 64141 800-593-DADS

May 6, 2009 History of Mother's Day - A Day for Peace Mother's Day was originally designated as a day to inspire people to work for peace.  It was conceived after wars at home and abroad by American abolitionist and suffragist Julia Ward Howe.  Besides initiating the tradition of Mother's Day, Howe is best known as the author of the words to "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."  As a pacifist during the Civil War, she witnessed the devastating effects of the conflict through her work with widows and orphans.  In 1870 she wrote the "Mother's Day Proclamation," a call to women to oppose war and to convene to promote peace and be the architects of their family's - and their own - political futures.  She presented it at international peace conferences in London and Paris, where she lamented the atrocities of not only the American Civil War, but also the Franco-Prussian War.  Howe envisioned the first "Mother's Day" as a time for women to gather, grieve and determine a peaceful solution to war. In 1873, women in 18 American cities held Mother's Day for Peace gatherings.  During Howe's lifetime there was never any formal recognition of Mother's Day, but Howe's efforts influenced Anna Jarvis, whose mother, also named Anna, had organized women during the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides, calling for Mothers' Work Days.  After the death of her mother, daughter Anna Jarvis was determined to found a memorial day for women. She celebrated her first Mother's Day on May 10, 1908, at the Methodist church where her mother had taught Sunday school. West Virginia Governor William E. Glasscock issued the first state-recognized Mother's Day proclamation on April 26, 1910. Two years later, the General Methodist Conference recognized Anna as the founder of Mother's Day. President Woodrow Wilson declared an official national Mother's Day in 1914, approving the Congressional resolution to celebrate the day every year on the second Sunday in May. Source: http://www.rediscovermothersday.org/history.asp

April 29, 2009 Things Strong Fathers Can Do To Keep Their Children Away From Drugs and Alcohol Consistently set rules and expectations for child's behavior. When rules are set consistently and children know that they are expected to follow rules concerning their behavior, they are more likely to follow those rules.  As well, when kids know that the rules are set for their safety and well being, they find it easier to do the things that are expected of them. Monitor what your child is watching on television. By controlling the content of their TV watching, you are controlling what messages they are receiving about alcohol, drug use, and other risk taking behaviors.  You are also setting expectations for positive, responsible viewing habits for the future. Communicate to your child that you oppose drug use. Fathers that let their children know that they would be very upset if their child was to use drugs cut their child's risk of using drugs by two-thirds.  Make sure you are sending this message regularly. Eat dinner with your children (with the TV off). Parents who spend time in conversation over dinner without the distraction of TV at least 6 to 7 times a week reduce the risk of their children taking drugs by over 50 percent.  47 percent of the children in these types of homes report an excellent relationship with their father. Know where your children are at all times. When there are not periods of time of an hour or more after school or on weekends when parents do not know where their child is and curfews are set, children are at half the risk of using drugs or alcohol. Have chores for your child to do on a regular basis. Set the expectation that your child will have certain responsibilities on an ongoing basis.  The combination of responsibility and set daily or weekly activities helps children to find alternatives to risk-taking behaviors. Source: Information derived from the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse VI:Teens conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University Strong Fathers-Strong Families, http://www.strongfathers.com/

April 22, 2009 Analysis of Fatherhood Programs Identifies Common Key Findings Findings from five early fatherhood demonstration projects have been analyzed in a brief from the Urban Institute.  The projects were intended to address issues faced by noncustodial parents and to encourage the payment of child support and involvement with children.  They produced many of the same findings: * Low-Income Fathers and Mothers Face Similar and Significant Barriers.  In addition to employment barriers such as health issues, substance abuse, housing instability, lack of transportation and mental health problems, prior involvement with the criminal justice system affected a large proportion of fathers in the programs. * Recruitment and Enrollment Are Key Challenges.  Enrollment was a challenge because of: narrow eligibility criteria; lack of trust in the organization operating the program; fear of involvement with the child support agency; mismatch between program services and fathers' needs; difficulty acquiring referrals from other agencies; and poorly designed recruitment procedures. * Being a Good Father Is Important to Nonresident Fathers.  Program components that focused on relationships with children were valued highly by participants, and served as an important incentive to participate.  Peer support groups consistently received high marks from participants for the opportunity they provided to share information on rights and responsibilities, on parenting, and to clarify points of confusion. * Programs Had Difficulty Establishing Employment Services That Improved How Nonresident Fathers Fared in the Labor Market.  Participants reported that their desire for a job attracted them to the program, and staff reported that participants viewed employment as critical for improving their lives. * Child Support-Related Services Are a Critical Program Component. * Child Support Orders Are Often Set at Levels Above What Nonresident Fathers Can Reasonably Be Expected to Pay. * Child Support Enforcement Agencies Need to Collaborate with Fatherhood Programs and Respond to the Circumstances of Low-Income Fathers.  While a drawback of involving the child support agency was that it resulted in a reluctance to participate for many fathers, there were also important advantages.  These included factors such as: the involvement of the child support system allowed it to work better for fathers, child support offices were sometimes an important referral source for programs, and there was a better chance that child support orders would be realistic when established. * Co-Parenting Issues Need to Be Addressed.  For many participants, there was significant frustration or conflict with their child's mother, but few took part in mediation services when offered.  These relationships need to be understood, particularly since they can be quite complicated and involve multiple partners with additional children. * Lack of Long-Term Sustainability Inhibits the Development of Program Capacity and Innovation.  Few of the programs analyzed for the report exist today, in large part because funding could not be sustained.  Long-term funding is difficult to secure, yet crucial for the maintenance of services and institutional connections. * Systemic Change Is Difficult. Source: Center for Family Policy and Practice, Policy Briefing, July 2008 - Vol. 10. No 2 http://www.urban.org/publications/411623.html

April 15, 2009 How can I improve communication with my partner? * Set aside time to talk when you will not be interrupted. * Take it in turns to have air time - some people find setting a time for five minutes, one speaking whilst the other listens, then reversing the process, can create a space for each to talk without interruption. * Tell your partner how you felt, feel or will be feeling about something without blaming them.  This can be tricky but it is a vey useful way of owning your feelings. * Plan to go together somewhere which provides an environment you both find relaxing, e.g. a walk in the park, a drink at a pub or a coffee when you're shopping, etc. Don't be surprised if there isn't an improvement straight away - you wouldn't expect to dance the salsa after only one attempt would you? Source: relate, the relationship people http://www.relate.org.uk/mediacentre/factsheets/communication/

April 8, 2009 Making Work Pay for Iowa's Families (Excerpts from a National Center for Children in Poverty publication issued September 2008) Almost a third of Iowa's children live in low-income families struggling to make ends meet.  The majority of these children have a parent who works full-time - 58% of low-income children in Iowa have a parent who works full-time, year round. In Iowa, it takes far more than a low-wage job to pay for even the most basic necessities: rent, food, child care, transportation, health care, payroll and income taxes, and other necessities.  A single parent with two children living in Des Moines needs to earn over $38,000 a year, or $19 an hour, just to make ends meet.  That's more than double the state minimum wage and far more than the state median wage of $13.77 an hour. The Iowa Policy Project's research reveals that in Iowa, on average across the state, a single parent with two children needs to earn $16.90 an hour to afford basic necessities.  Yet most workers in Iowa earn far less than that - 65 percent of jobs in Iowa pay less than $16.90 an hour. Source: National Center for Children in Poverty | 215 W. 125th Street | New York, NY 10027 http://www.nccp.org/

April 1, 2009 READ WITH YOUR CHILDREN LATELY?  By: Ken Canfield Let me take you back a few centuries.  A Massachusetts Colony law enacted in 1644 stated that heads of households should be responsible for teaching their children to read.  Not a bad law. Maybe the fathers of today should make that the law of their own home.  And you can start with the basics - reading to and with your children.  The rewards for both of you are immeasurable.  I can think of five right off the bat. 1. Reading brings you into close proximity to your young child.  You can watch TV from opposite sides of the room.  Not so with reading.  You share the same book.  You look at the pictures together. I believe that's why God gave us laps. 2. Reading encourages you to be interesting.  If you read in a monotone, your child will go to sleep.  But with something like Dr. Seuss or Berenstain Bears, it's nearly impossible to read without changing your voice for different characters, acting scared or surprised, and involving yourself in the story line.  Exploring different emotions with your child helps him to be honest about his feelings with you. 3. Reading together gives you a chance to observe and enjoy your children.  Out of the corner of my eye, I love to watch Micah react to a story.  He thinks.  He wonders.  He worries.  He smiles.  Knowing how your children react to stories will help you communicate the important stuff you want them to learn from you. 4. During the story you can ask questions, like "What does that mean?"  "Why do you think he did that?" or "What do you think you would have done?"  That way you can learn more about your child, teach him your values and monitor his level of understanding and mental maturity. 5. As your children grow, you experience the immense satisfaction of learning from each other.  My oldest daughter, Hannah, is reading real books, books for grown ups.  And she's learning things that I can't teach her.  And sometimes, she'll even recommend a book to me.  That's a thrill that I didn't anticipate as a father-that they could teach me. Source: Family Minute with Mark Merrill http://www.myfamilyminute.com/articles/viewarticle/index.php?id=227

A message from the Polk County Fathers and Families Coalition and the Iowa Child Support Recovery Unit

Connecting Child Support to the Community

Note: This information is being shared as a resource and for informational purposes. Sharing this information is not intended to imply nor support an endorsement or recommendation for any specific program.

Previous "Did You Knows" (By Topic)

FatherFacts

Child Development

Holidays

Marriage

Statistics Data

Parenting

Return to Fatherhood Home